I feel like the first half of a pregnancy, before you know your baby's gender, you are just waiting with "It's a...." Waiting to find out. Waiting to get to know your baby a little bit more. Waiting to feel like there's actually a person in there, and it's not just a weird medical condition.
At least that's how I felt. I know some people wait to find out when the baby's born, and good for you! We just don't do that.
One week ago, we had our ultrasound. Before it started, Dustin mentioned how Jack has been saying he wants a sister. About .5 seconds after putting the thing on my belly the tech said, "Well, looks like he got what he wanted!"
A sister. A daughter. A GIRL. Eeeeek! (By the way, she was not shy at all about showing us her lady parts. We'll have to work on that before she becomes a teenager.)
So now we have a daughter. That's a tough one. I've always been a tomboy. I grew up with brothers. And all boys in our neighborhood. I played soccer and basketball and football and baseball and hockey and we built ramps for our bikes out of old wood scraps. I NEVER took dance or gymnastics or cheerleading. Ever. Granted, since childhood I've learned how to be a little girly. I do my hair and makeup (some days). And I do enjoy a good pedicure.
But what the heck do I do with a DAUGHTER?
What if she's super girly? What if she wants to wear dresses all the time? What if she's obsessed with princesses and nail polish and tutus?
I wasn't too sure about this whole daughter thing. Until I remembered something I learned while I was pregnant with Jack. See, I had fixated on all the "parenting" questions...."How long will I breastfeed?" "What will we do when he throws a fit in a store?" "Will we homeschool or send him to public school or private school?" "When he turns 16 will we buy him his own car?" And I started to get overwhelmed, thinking I had to KNOW all those answers.
Then Jack came. And all we had to do was feed him and change his diapers and cuddle. And when he grew out of that stage, we learned what to do in the next stage. And the next, and the next, and the next. And now that he's two, I look back and realize that I didn't know this was how I was going to parent a two-year-old. And when the next stage comes, I'm sure God will show us what to do.
It's one day at a time.
And it's the same with our daughter. At first it will be just taking care of a baby. And God will show us in each stage what to do. Whether she's a girly girl or a tomboy or somewhere in between. We'll learn how to be her parents, just like we're learning how to be Jack's parents.
I'm so thankful He has grace for us every day! Whether it's dealing with a two-year-old (who just dumped an entire crate of books on the floor. Ugh.) or whether it's having a freak-out moment about having a girl, He holds us up and holds everything together. One day at a time.
Thank God.
