I just realized that I haven't written a blog post in over two months. Not because I have nothing to write about. But because I have too much. I don't even know where to start. And the things I have to write about take up all my time so I don't have time to write.....ahhhhh it's a vicious cycle!
So here's a post. A timeline. Of the last few months and the next few months in the Diller household. I will try to get better about posting in the coming weeks. I have lots of thoughts about these things. I might just have to tackle writing about them one by one.
January: I gave my 6-month notice at Pathway. Hey if you know you're gonna quit, may as well tell them early! Looking forward to being a stay-at-home-mom.
Mid-April: Dustin interviewed at a cardiology office in Greenwood (just south of Indianapolis). They knew he wouldn't be done with his graduate work until October, and that's when this job would start.
Mid-May: Dustin was offered the job and accepted!
(Side note: This job will be in a doctor's office and will be 9-5 type of schedule. No holidays, no weekends, no evenings. Yesssssss.)
June: Getting our house ready to put on the market. There's nothing big that needs fixed, but lots of little things and de-cluttering spaces.
June 23: Little brother got married. Got a new sister. Pretty happy about all that.
And now we head into the future.....
July 5: My last day working at Pathway.
July 7-ish: Our house will be (should be?) ready to go on the market.
Rest of July: Showings. Looking at houses in Greenwood. Hopefully selling one house and buying another.
July 27: My birthday. And the Olympics start. Pretty excited about that.
August 2-ish: Paisley is born. Kind of a big deal.
August/September/October: Adjust to life with two kids, pack up our house, buy a new house, move to Greenwood, Dustin finishes grad school. Oh, and probably not sleeping a whole lot. Because of the Paisley thing.
October 22: Dustin starts his new job.
Is God teaching me things in this season? Absolutely. Do I want to record those things on this blog? Absolutely. Expect more writings in the coming weeks. In between training my replacement at work, cleaning out my laundry room (and every other room and closet in this house), packing boxes, chasing around a 2-year old, and being 8 months pregnant.
Don't expect too much. But expect something.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Her Name
We've known our baby girl's name for quite a while. We've been telling people for quite a while. But we've not yet shared it online. So in the interest of making it offically official (and so I can stop calling her Baby Girl in all my FB posts), here it is:
Paisley Jane Diller
It's unique but not crazy. And it has meaning. That's why we like it. :)
I've known for a long time that if we ever had a daughter I would want her middle name to be Jane. My great-grandmother (Paisley's great-great grandmother) is Jane. She's turning 101 later this month, but she acts more like she's 80 (sometimes she acts like she's 18). She's a pretty awesome lady, and I'm excited that our little girl will get to share part of her name. Here's a picture of us when Jack was just three weeks old.
Plus Jane means "God is gracious." Oh yes He is.
Paisley was a little more difficult. A friend suggested that name when I was pregnant with Jack, and the more we thought about it, the more we liked it. And it goes well with Jane. My only problem was that it didn't have a good meaning. Everywhere I looked it up the meaning said, "N/A" (isn't that lovely) or "a fabric pattern." Then we found out we were having a boy, so it didn't matter anymore.
This time we still liked the name. And once we found out we were having a girl, I decided to dig a little deeper. I figured there had to be a meaning, or at least a cool person in history with the name Paisley.
And I found a whole bunch of stuff.
First of all, the pattern we all know as paisley originated in Persia and India. Of course, India has been very dear to our hearts over the past couple years. Dustin traveled to the Home of Love in Chennai, India last summer, and I can't wait until I get to go. Plus we sponsor a girl there, and I'm looking forward to meeting her someday!
Also (even cooler!), the origin of the name is from the town Paisley, Scotland. This town was known for two things. One: weaving and trading the printed fabric. And two: churches. The town is full of churches.
So the name Paisley means.....church.
I don't think I need to go into detail about how much the church and community means to us. And our desire is that it will also be a big part of our kids' lives.
So now we are doubly excited to name our daughter Paisley Jane. We like the name, and now we like a meaning. A lot.
With a name like "Church, God is gracious" how could we not?
Paisley Jane Diller
It's unique but not crazy. And it has meaning. That's why we like it. :)
I've known for a long time that if we ever had a daughter I would want her middle name to be Jane. My great-grandmother (Paisley's great-great grandmother) is Jane. She's turning 101 later this month, but she acts more like she's 80 (sometimes she acts like she's 18). She's a pretty awesome lady, and I'm excited that our little girl will get to share part of her name. Here's a picture of us when Jack was just three weeks old.
Plus Jane means "God is gracious." Oh yes He is.
Paisley was a little more difficult. A friend suggested that name when I was pregnant with Jack, and the more we thought about it, the more we liked it. And it goes well with Jane. My only problem was that it didn't have a good meaning. Everywhere I looked it up the meaning said, "N/A" (isn't that lovely) or "a fabric pattern." Then we found out we were having a boy, so it didn't matter anymore.
This time we still liked the name. And once we found out we were having a girl, I decided to dig a little deeper. I figured there had to be a meaning, or at least a cool person in history with the name Paisley.
And I found a whole bunch of stuff.
First of all, the pattern we all know as paisley originated in Persia and India. Of course, India has been very dear to our hearts over the past couple years. Dustin traveled to the Home of Love in Chennai, India last summer, and I can't wait until I get to go. Plus we sponsor a girl there, and I'm looking forward to meeting her someday!
Also (even cooler!), the origin of the name is from the town Paisley, Scotland. This town was known for two things. One: weaving and trading the printed fabric. And two: churches. The town is full of churches.
So the name Paisley means.....church.
I don't think I need to go into detail about how much the church and community means to us. And our desire is that it will also be a big part of our kids' lives.
So now we are doubly excited to name our daughter Paisley Jane. We like the name, and now we like a meaning. A lot.
With a name like "Church, God is gracious" how could we not?
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Just a Snare
My friend Kyle just started a drum company. He recently built us a snare drum to use at Pathway. It's pretty stinkin' amazing. (If you're interested, check out LevyDrumCo.) The plan is for him to eventually build us a whole kit. I. Can't. Wait.
This weekend, Kyle played with us on the team. Which is always a treat. Mostly because of his hair. :) And he plays the snot outta the drums.
As I watched him playing that snare that he built with his own hands, I couldn't help but think how cool that must be. To create something from nothing. And then to play it...to use it for its intended purpose. So I asked him about it. Asked him how it felt to play that drum. Here are some of his quotes from our conversation:
"Yeah it's pretty sweet."
"I know everything that's wrong with it."
"I built it with a purpose in mind. A specific sound I wanted to get out of it."
"Everything on it is there for a reason."
So....just to recap:
He thinks it's pretty sweet that he gets to play his creation.
He thinks it's pretty sweet that he gets to play his creation.
He knows everything that's wrong with it, but still makes awesome-ness come out of it.
He created it for a specific purpose. To be used in a certain way. He knew in advance what he wanted it to do and he made it to do just that.
Every detail that's included in that drum is there for a reason. It contributes to how the drum sounds, and how it contributes to the whole band. To the whole worship music experience for all of us.
Sound familiar?
We are just a snare.
We have things wrong with us. And our Creator knows it. Better than anyone else. But He still wants to use us for awesome-ness.
We were created with a specific purpose in mind.
Everything about us is there for a reason. Every personality trait. Every past experience, whether good or bad. Every detail of our lives builds who we are and how our story sounds. And how it contributes to The Bigger Story.
And our Creator thinks it's pretty sweet to make music with us.
Wait, I think that's worth saying again.
Our Creator thinks it's pretty sweet to make music with us!!!
So thanks, Kyle. Yes, for building us a super awesome snare. But also for reminding me that I am just a snare. And the most beautiful thing I can do is to let my Creator do what He wants with me.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Baby Dreams #3 and #4
I've had a couple more baby dreams lately.
Baby Dream #3 was a couple weeks ago. It was fairly uneventful, except for the fact that I could see through my belly into my uterus. The baby was looking up at me with her head tilted sideways. Her eyes wide open, like a little alien. She was NOT cute. It was actually pretty creepy.
Baby Dream #4 was last night. I can't remember if I dreamed this during my 3 hours of sleeping on Jack's bedroom floor (using a teddy bear as a pillow) or during the one hour I actually spent in my own bed. Either way, it was a weird one. I had the baby. Today, on April 1st. I remember thinking, "Oh crap, she's way early. I need to call Gordon and tell him I won't be at work this week!" And again, just like Baby Dream Numero Uno, Dustin was not there. He walked in a couple minutes later and I said, "Hey, I just pushed her out! In one push!" And again, she was NOT cute! She had really weird hair. And she weighed 5 pounds, 27 ounces. (Um....math?)
I then remembered that we didn't have our infant carseat, because my brother and sis-in-law were borrowing it (which is true in real life). And then I remembered that my friends Eric and Amanda had to buy a new carseat for their little girl a couple years ago (which is true in real life), and I thought, "I should call Amanda and see if I can borrow Ellie's old carseat!" And then I realized Amanda was sitting right next to me, on a couch. How convenient. (Wait a second....why was I sitting on a couch moments after giving birth?)
That's it. I can only hope that our little girl comes out cuter than in my dreams.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
It's a......
I feel like the first half of a pregnancy, before you know your baby's gender, you are just waiting with "It's a...." Waiting to find out. Waiting to get to know your baby a little bit more. Waiting to feel like there's actually a person in there, and it's not just a weird medical condition.
At least that's how I felt. I know some people wait to find out when the baby's born, and good for you! We just don't do that.
One week ago, we had our ultrasound. Before it started, Dustin mentioned how Jack has been saying he wants a sister. About .5 seconds after putting the thing on my belly the tech said, "Well, looks like he got what he wanted!"
A sister. A daughter. A GIRL. Eeeeek! (By the way, she was not shy at all about showing us her lady parts. We'll have to work on that before she becomes a teenager.)
So now we have a daughter. That's a tough one. I've always been a tomboy. I grew up with brothers. And all boys in our neighborhood. I played soccer and basketball and football and baseball and hockey and we built ramps for our bikes out of old wood scraps. I NEVER took dance or gymnastics or cheerleading. Ever. Granted, since childhood I've learned how to be a little girly. I do my hair and makeup (some days). And I do enjoy a good pedicure.
But what the heck do I do with a DAUGHTER?
What if she's super girly? What if she wants to wear dresses all the time? What if she's obsessed with princesses and nail polish and tutus?
I wasn't too sure about this whole daughter thing. Until I remembered something I learned while I was pregnant with Jack. See, I had fixated on all the "parenting" questions...."How long will I breastfeed?" "What will we do when he throws a fit in a store?" "Will we homeschool or send him to public school or private school?" "When he turns 16 will we buy him his own car?" And I started to get overwhelmed, thinking I had to KNOW all those answers.
Then Jack came. And all we had to do was feed him and change his diapers and cuddle. And when he grew out of that stage, we learned what to do in the next stage. And the next, and the next, and the next. And now that he's two, I look back and realize that I didn't know this was how I was going to parent a two-year-old. And when the next stage comes, I'm sure God will show us what to do.
It's one day at a time.
And it's the same with our daughter. At first it will be just taking care of a baby. And God will show us in each stage what to do. Whether she's a girly girl or a tomboy or somewhere in between. We'll learn how to be her parents, just like we're learning how to be Jack's parents.
I'm so thankful He has grace for us every day! Whether it's dealing with a two-year-old (who just dumped an entire crate of books on the floor. Ugh.) or whether it's having a freak-out moment about having a girl, He holds us up and holds everything together. One day at a time.
Thank God.
At least that's how I felt. I know some people wait to find out when the baby's born, and good for you! We just don't do that.
One week ago, we had our ultrasound. Before it started, Dustin mentioned how Jack has been saying he wants a sister. About .5 seconds after putting the thing on my belly the tech said, "Well, looks like he got what he wanted!"
A sister. A daughter. A GIRL. Eeeeek! (By the way, she was not shy at all about showing us her lady parts. We'll have to work on that before she becomes a teenager.)
So now we have a daughter. That's a tough one. I've always been a tomboy. I grew up with brothers. And all boys in our neighborhood. I played soccer and basketball and football and baseball and hockey and we built ramps for our bikes out of old wood scraps. I NEVER took dance or gymnastics or cheerleading. Ever. Granted, since childhood I've learned how to be a little girly. I do my hair and makeup (some days). And I do enjoy a good pedicure.
But what the heck do I do with a DAUGHTER?
What if she's super girly? What if she wants to wear dresses all the time? What if she's obsessed with princesses and nail polish and tutus?
I wasn't too sure about this whole daughter thing. Until I remembered something I learned while I was pregnant with Jack. See, I had fixated on all the "parenting" questions...."How long will I breastfeed?" "What will we do when he throws a fit in a store?" "Will we homeschool or send him to public school or private school?" "When he turns 16 will we buy him his own car?" And I started to get overwhelmed, thinking I had to KNOW all those answers.
Then Jack came. And all we had to do was feed him and change his diapers and cuddle. And when he grew out of that stage, we learned what to do in the next stage. And the next, and the next, and the next. And now that he's two, I look back and realize that I didn't know this was how I was going to parent a two-year-old. And when the next stage comes, I'm sure God will show us what to do.
It's one day at a time.
And it's the same with our daughter. At first it will be just taking care of a baby. And God will show us in each stage what to do. Whether she's a girly girl or a tomboy or somewhere in between. We'll learn how to be her parents, just like we're learning how to be Jack's parents.
I'm so thankful He has grace for us every day! Whether it's dealing with a two-year-old (who just dumped an entire crate of books on the floor. Ugh.) or whether it's having a freak-out moment about having a girl, He holds us up and holds everything together. One day at a time.
Thank God.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Chick-Fil-A, Gerig's and other Glenbrook Blessings
Jack and I just spent a few hours at the mall. I thought it was going to be a normal mall trip, and somehow in those few hours I was overwhelmed with blessings! Let's count them....
1. This one started a few days ago. I've had my eye on a pair of maternity jeans (and I NEED maternity jeans) from a certain store in the mall. But they were a little more expensive than what I would normally like to pay for maternity jeans. Then on Friday Dustin found a gift card to Glenbrook that we had forgotten about. Score! That's why we went to the mall today. I am now the proud owner of jeans that fit. Hallelujah!
2. We went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Chick-Fil-A would normally be a blessing in itself, right? Not only was I able to order grilled chicken nuggets and applesauce for Jack (yay for kinda-healthy fast food!), but when we finished our order, the manager came over and said, "You go find a table and I'll bring your food out to you." Awesome for a momma with a toddler in a stroller plus a baby bump! A few minutes later he came over with our food and said, "Here you go, Kendra! Would you like a placemat for your son?" And he stuck a disposable placemat on the table. He later came over to trade Jack's toy for an "under 3" toy, and took our trash away. Throughout our lunch I saw him bustling around the food court, refilling drinks and getting ketchup for all the customers who were enjoying delicious chicken. Way to go, Chick-Fil-A. Way. To. Go.
3. Also in the food court....I noticed a couple tables over there were three older ladies who kept looking at us. I figured it was because I was sitting next to a super cute kid. He tends to attract the old ladies. :) But then one of them (the oldest one) came over and sat down at my table. My first thought was that she was super confused, until she said, "Did you know that we are relation?" "Um....no I didn't!" And it turns out that her husband (now deceased) was cousins with my Grandma and Aunt Joy. She's a Gerig! AND she goes to Pathway. AND she remembers visiting my Grandma and Grandpa in their assisted living facility and hearing me play piano for them. She guessed I was about 18 back then. TEN years ago. Whoa. She was not confused at all. I asked her what her name was, and then I introduced myself as Kendra and she said, "Oh, I know your name." Nothing like meeting distant relatives at the food court, huh?
4. A couple weeks ago we were putting some of Jack's clothes away that he'd outgrown. He had a couple Puma tracksuits that people gave him for his birthday last year that were SUPER cute and I LOVED putting on him last spring. But sadly, they got put into the big plastic bins destined for the attic. Today I walked into Macy's, totally minding my own business, and spotted toddler boy Puma tracksuits. The price tag said $44. Sorry, I'm not spending $44 on play clothes for a toddler. And then I saw the sign above them said $19.99. Yesssss!!! But it gets better....I happened to look through my little pouch of gift cards in my purse and found a Macy's card for $20! The two gold rings on it told me that we've had that card since October 11, 2008. Whoever gave us that gift card for our wedding probably was not thinking I would use it on clothes for our two-year-old, but that's exactly what I did. Ah-thank you.
5. Last, but definitely not least. I had gotten several texts while we were in the mall, so Jack and I took a break and sat on a bench so I could answer a few of them. When I got done, I looked over at him and he was doing "Open them, shut them, open them, shut them," with his hands. This is what they do in KidCity at Pathway before they pray. So I did it with him. When we got done with the little chant he put his hands in his lap and said, "Pray." So we did. We thanked God for days like today when we can go to the mall and have fun together. We thanked God for Jack being SUCH a good boy while we were at the mall (which is a huge blessing in itself!). And for everything that He's given us.
Normally I don't pray out loud on a bench in the middle of the mall. But it just seemed fitting today. Because Jack asked for it. And because God really blessed the pants off us today. Were any of these big, huge, life-changing blessings? Nope. But they definitely made our day more special. And I'm so glad that Jack reminded me to thank Him for it.
1. This one started a few days ago. I've had my eye on a pair of maternity jeans (and I NEED maternity jeans) from a certain store in the mall. But they were a little more expensive than what I would normally like to pay for maternity jeans. Then on Friday Dustin found a gift card to Glenbrook that we had forgotten about. Score! That's why we went to the mall today. I am now the proud owner of jeans that fit. Hallelujah!
2. We went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Chick-Fil-A would normally be a blessing in itself, right? Not only was I able to order grilled chicken nuggets and applesauce for Jack (yay for kinda-healthy fast food!), but when we finished our order, the manager came over and said, "You go find a table and I'll bring your food out to you." Awesome for a momma with a toddler in a stroller plus a baby bump! A few minutes later he came over with our food and said, "Here you go, Kendra! Would you like a placemat for your son?" And he stuck a disposable placemat on the table. He later came over to trade Jack's toy for an "under 3" toy, and took our trash away. Throughout our lunch I saw him bustling around the food court, refilling drinks and getting ketchup for all the customers who were enjoying delicious chicken. Way to go, Chick-Fil-A. Way. To. Go.
3. Also in the food court....I noticed a couple tables over there were three older ladies who kept looking at us. I figured it was because I was sitting next to a super cute kid. He tends to attract the old ladies. :) But then one of them (the oldest one) came over and sat down at my table. My first thought was that she was super confused, until she said, "Did you know that we are relation?" "Um....no I didn't!" And it turns out that her husband (now deceased) was cousins with my Grandma and Aunt Joy. She's a Gerig! AND she goes to Pathway. AND she remembers visiting my Grandma and Grandpa in their assisted living facility and hearing me play piano for them. She guessed I was about 18 back then. TEN years ago. Whoa. She was not confused at all. I asked her what her name was, and then I introduced myself as Kendra and she said, "Oh, I know your name." Nothing like meeting distant relatives at the food court, huh?
4. A couple weeks ago we were putting some of Jack's clothes away that he'd outgrown. He had a couple Puma tracksuits that people gave him for his birthday last year that were SUPER cute and I LOVED putting on him last spring. But sadly, they got put into the big plastic bins destined for the attic. Today I walked into Macy's, totally minding my own business, and spotted toddler boy Puma tracksuits. The price tag said $44. Sorry, I'm not spending $44 on play clothes for a toddler. And then I saw the sign above them said $19.99. Yesssss!!! But it gets better....I happened to look through my little pouch of gift cards in my purse and found a Macy's card for $20! The two gold rings on it told me that we've had that card since October 11, 2008. Whoever gave us that gift card for our wedding probably was not thinking I would use it on clothes for our two-year-old, but that's exactly what I did. Ah-thank you.
5. Last, but definitely not least. I had gotten several texts while we were in the mall, so Jack and I took a break and sat on a bench so I could answer a few of them. When I got done, I looked over at him and he was doing "Open them, shut them, open them, shut them," with his hands. This is what they do in KidCity at Pathway before they pray. So I did it with him. When we got done with the little chant he put his hands in his lap and said, "Pray." So we did. We thanked God for days like today when we can go to the mall and have fun together. We thanked God for Jack being SUCH a good boy while we were at the mall (which is a huge blessing in itself!). And for everything that He's given us.
Normally I don't pray out loud on a bench in the middle of the mall. But it just seemed fitting today. Because Jack asked for it. And because God really blessed the pants off us today. Were any of these big, huge, life-changing blessings? Nope. But they definitely made our day more special. And I'm so glad that Jack reminded me to thank Him for it.
Baby Dream Numero Dos
I had another dream about the baby. It was much less eventful than the last one....
All I remember is that the baby was a girl. And she had red hair. And I kept calling her Kate, but that wasn't her name. I guess I kept forgetting what we named her, so I just called her Kate instead. And every time Dustin corrected me, but I don't remember what her actual name was!
That's it. Pretty uneventful.
Except that we had a daughter. Eeeek!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Jack-isms
Okay, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Not that life has been dull. Just nothing that I've been moved to write about.
Then last night Jack was going through some drawers and found his baby book. That's supposed to record the first year of his life. But really it was more like the first week of his life. And then I fizzled out.
I've never been good about scrap-booking, album-making, or baby-booking. Just not my thing. I'd like to think that Facebook keeps a pretty good record of life events, between the photo albums and my status updates. And maybe this blog should do a little bit of that too.
Jack is changing so fast, and learning new things so quickly that sometimes it's easy to forget what he was doing a few months ago, or even last week. So here's what he's up to right now.
Top Ten Favorite Jack-isms of Right Now:
1. "I see you!" He loves looking through things: an empty paper towel tube, toy binoculars, or even the little holes in the middle of his cheese crackers. He'll say it ten times in a row...."I see you, Mama! I see you Daddy!"
2. "I do it!" He loves trying to do things all by himself. Oh, toddler independence.
3. "I did it 'self!" When he succeeds at toddler independence. So proud.
4. "Help please, Mama." Ahhhh I love this! It's so sweet! I usually hear this when he's playing a game on the iPad, or when he's trying to fill up his bathtub squirt toys with water.
5. "Fun!" Everything is fun. This morning the "fun!" things included eating a waffle, taking a bath, and sitting on a towel while I blow-dried his hair. "Sit on towel fun!!!" Okay kid, whatever you say.
6. "I flush!" He LOVES flushing the toilet, and any time Dustin or I mention we're going to the bathroom he comes running in, exclaiming, "I flush! I flush!" (Note: he will also exclaim this very loudly in Target if you mention you have to go potty.)
7. "Mama sit." Soooo many times during the day he pats the space next to him and says, "Mama sit." What a sweetie-pie, wanting to sit next to his Mama, and wanting her to take a break and relax for a few minutes. (That's what he's thinking, right?)
8. "Daddy hide upstairs!" Every night at bedtime he wants Dustin to hide so he can go find him. It's definitely one of our favorite parts of the day. On the nights that Dustin's at work I hide instead, but I'm not as good at it as Daddy is.
9. Counting to ten. Very, VERY loudly.
10. "Manu!" This is my absolute FAVORITE. Manu is Jackanese for "love you." Lots of his other Jackanese words are slipping away as he learns the actual words, but this one is still stuck. And, not gonna lie, I hope it sticks for a long time! I've starting telling him "manu" instead of "love you," hoping he won't learn the actual words yet. And probably one of the sweetest things is when he pats my belly and says, "Manu, baby."
There you have it. The top ten Jack-isms of today. They may change as soon as tomorrow, but today this is what he's like, this is what he's learning, and this is what I love about him. And now I don't have to scrap-book about it. :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Washed With Tears
God has been teaching me a lot lately about worship. (Yes, the word "worship" is in my job title, but that's not what I'm talking about.)
Last night I was reading a Bible story to Jack. The woman who washes Jesus' feet with her tears and perfume. It's a story that I have probably heard hundreds of times. But never like this. It's from the Jesus Storybook Bible (side note: if you don't have the Jesus Storybook Bible, GET IT. Whether you have kids or not. You can find it here or here.)
I always knew that this story was about worship. About giving what we have to Jesus. But this time it was different. I can't really describe what struck me about the story without telling the story. The way we read it last night. So here it is.
Excerpt from The Jesus Storybook Bible, by by Sally Lloyd-Jones, Copyright 2007, Zondervan
Washed with tears
A sinful woman anoints Jesus, from Mark 14, Luke 7, and John 12
One night Jesus went to dinner at an Important Leader's house. The Important Leader invited his Important Friends. They were all just sitting down to eat when a woman walked in. She was not invited but everyone knew who she was.
"Who does she think she is?" the guests whispered. "How dare she?" The woman was a big sinner and everyone knew it. (It was easy to see -- after all, she had broken the rules and done bad things.)
The woman walked straight up to Jesus. She was carrying very expensive perfume.
Now the thing about perfume back then was that it didn't come in bottle, it came in jars. And the jars were made out of precious stone, like alabaster. But here's the catch: the jars didn't have a lid, or a stopper, or anything. So the only way you got the perfume out was if you broke the jar. Once you broke the jar, that was it -- you had no more. Most people didn't use perfume because it was too precious. They just kept it on a shelf and looked at it.
So you see, this perfume was her most precious thing in all the world. It was her treasure.
The woman knelt down before Jesus like he was a king. She held Jesus' feet in her hands and started to cry. Her tears fell onto Jesus' feet, washing them. She kissed his feet and dried them with her long, dark hair. And then she did something strange. She broke the jar and poured the perfume all over his feet.
Everyone gasped. What a waste! Over someone's feet? Such expensive perfume!
It smelled like lilies in a summer field.
Jesus looked at the woman, and he smiled at her. What she had done was the most wonderful thing. Just as Samuel had anointed David, God's true king, all those years before, so this woman had anointed Jesus -- not with oil, but with her tears.
The Important People were cross. They thought Jesus should not be kind to this woman. "That woman is a sinner!" they grumbled. "We're the good ones." (And it's true, they did look good -- from the outside. After all, they were keeping all the rules.)
But Jesus could see inside people. And inside, in their hearts, Jesus saw that they did not love God or other people. They were running away from God and they thought they didn't need a rescuer. They thought they were good enough because they kept the rules. But sin had stopped their hearts from working properly. And their hearts were hard and cold.
"This woman knows she's a sinner," Jesus told them. "She knows she'll never be good enough. She knows she needs me to rescue her. That's why she loves me so much.
"You look down on this woman because you don't look up to God. She is sinful on the outside -- but you are sinful on the inside."
The Important People shook with anger.
Jesus turned to the woman and smiled. "Your sins are forgiven," he said. "You trusted me. And God has rescued you!"
Last night I was reading a Bible story to Jack. The woman who washes Jesus' feet with her tears and perfume. It's a story that I have probably heard hundreds of times. But never like this. It's from the Jesus Storybook Bible (side note: if you don't have the Jesus Storybook Bible, GET IT. Whether you have kids or not. You can find it here or here.)
I always knew that this story was about worship. About giving what we have to Jesus. But this time it was different. I can't really describe what struck me about the story without telling the story. The way we read it last night. So here it is.
Excerpt from The Jesus Storybook Bible, by by Sally Lloyd-Jones, Copyright 2007, Zondervan
Washed with tears
A sinful woman anoints Jesus, from Mark 14, Luke 7, and John 12
One night Jesus went to dinner at an Important Leader's house. The Important Leader invited his Important Friends. They were all just sitting down to eat when a woman walked in. She was not invited but everyone knew who she was.
"Who does she think she is?" the guests whispered. "How dare she?" The woman was a big sinner and everyone knew it. (It was easy to see -- after all, she had broken the rules and done bad things.)
The woman walked straight up to Jesus. She was carrying very expensive perfume.
Now the thing about perfume back then was that it didn't come in bottle, it came in jars. And the jars were made out of precious stone, like alabaster. But here's the catch: the jars didn't have a lid, or a stopper, or anything. So the only way you got the perfume out was if you broke the jar. Once you broke the jar, that was it -- you had no more. Most people didn't use perfume because it was too precious. They just kept it on a shelf and looked at it.
So you see, this perfume was her most precious thing in all the world. It was her treasure.
The woman knelt down before Jesus like he was a king. She held Jesus' feet in her hands and started to cry. Her tears fell onto Jesus' feet, washing them. She kissed his feet and dried them with her long, dark hair. And then she did something strange. She broke the jar and poured the perfume all over his feet.
Everyone gasped. What a waste! Over someone's feet? Such expensive perfume!
It smelled like lilies in a summer field.
Jesus looked at the woman, and he smiled at her. What she had done was the most wonderful thing. Just as Samuel had anointed David, God's true king, all those years before, so this woman had anointed Jesus -- not with oil, but with her tears.
The Important People were cross. They thought Jesus should not be kind to this woman. "That woman is a sinner!" they grumbled. "We're the good ones." (And it's true, they did look good -- from the outside. After all, they were keeping all the rules.)
But Jesus could see inside people. And inside, in their hearts, Jesus saw that they did not love God or other people. They were running away from God and they thought they didn't need a rescuer. They thought they were good enough because they kept the rules. But sin had stopped their hearts from working properly. And their hearts were hard and cold.
"This woman knows she's a sinner," Jesus told them. "She knows she'll never be good enough. She knows she needs me to rescue her. That's why she loves me so much.
"You look down on this woman because you don't look up to God. She is sinful on the outside -- but you are sinful on the inside."
The Important People shook with anger.
Jesus turned to the woman and smiled. "Your sins are forgiven," he said. "You trusted me. And God has rescued you!"
Monday, January 16, 2012
Baby Dream Numero Uno
Pregnancy brings about all sorts of weird dreams. Last night I had a dream that I was having the baby. I'm guessing it's not the last one I'll have in the next few months. Here's how it went...
I was in the hospital. But no one was in the room with me. I kept calling for Dustin, but he was downstairs getting a snack or something. Then all of a sudden I knew it was time, so I just pushed the baby out! Real quick. And then I grabbed it and just held it, calling for Dustin some more. Then it occurred to me that I didn't know the baby's gender, so I looked down and saw it was a boy. And I thought, "Oh crap, we didn't pick out a boy name yet."
So I just kept holding the slimy, nameless baby boy until Dustin finally got there to cut the cord.
Then the baby went to the nursery, and I went to a fundraiser in a gym. And ran into my doctor there (Note: in my dream, my doctor was not the same guy as my real life doctor.) He asked how it went. I said, "Well, I only had to push the one time. I felt like I was gonna poop, so I just pushed him right out!" And then he gave me a hug and told me good job.
That's it. I really hope it doesn't go like that in real life.
I was in the hospital. But no one was in the room with me. I kept calling for Dustin, but he was downstairs getting a snack or something. Then all of a sudden I knew it was time, so I just pushed the baby out! Real quick. And then I grabbed it and just held it, calling for Dustin some more. Then it occurred to me that I didn't know the baby's gender, so I looked down and saw it was a boy. And I thought, "Oh crap, we didn't pick out a boy name yet."
So I just kept holding the slimy, nameless baby boy until Dustin finally got there to cut the cord.
Then the baby went to the nursery, and I went to a fundraiser in a gym. And ran into my doctor there (Note: in my dream, my doctor was not the same guy as my real life doctor.) He asked how it went. I said, "Well, I only had to push the one time. I felt like I was gonna poop, so I just pushed him right out!" And then he gave me a hug and told me good job.
That's it. I really hope it doesn't go like that in real life.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Schwan's
I finally did it. I finally called Schwan's and cancelled our service.
I could NOT say no to the guy! He was so nice! So every time he came to the door, I felt like I had to buy something. It was always something we didn't really need. And too expensive. But I just had to buy stuff. Kinda like when the cute little girl down the street wants to sell us some candy bars. The Schwan's man is definitely not a cute little girl. But I still couldn't say no. It's a problem.
Don't get me wrong, Schwan's is great. I'm not bashing them at all. The food is good. When I was pregnant with Jack I practically lived on their mint chocolate chip drumsticks. (Is that why he's such a sweet tooth?) But we just don't eat frozen food very often. It's an unnecessary expense for us right now.
So instead of doing the mature thing and telling the guy we didn't want Schwan's anymore, I've been dodging him. Every other Tuesday evening I've been finding stuff to do so we wouldn't be home when he came over. We'd go shopping or to a friend's house. Or sometimes when I heard the truck coming, we would hide out in the basement like we were in the Underground Railroad. When Jack was a baby, I would put my hand over his mouth so he wouldn't cry. It was actually kind of a thrill, trying not to get caught.
And on the days that we forgot he was coming, and we'd be in the driveway playing when he pulled up, I knew I would be buying some sweet potato fries or ice cream sandwiches. Of course.
This has been going on for about a year and a half. Pathetic, I know.
But today was the day. After calling Jen and asking (again) if we could come over to play until after the Schwan's man came to our house, I decided enough was enough. I'm tired of the running. So I called the 800 number and told them we're trimming our budget and the Schwan's has to go.
It's over.
I grew up a little bit more today.
I could NOT say no to the guy! He was so nice! So every time he came to the door, I felt like I had to buy something. It was always something we didn't really need. And too expensive. But I just had to buy stuff. Kinda like when the cute little girl down the street wants to sell us some candy bars. The Schwan's man is definitely not a cute little girl. But I still couldn't say no. It's a problem.
Don't get me wrong, Schwan's is great. I'm not bashing them at all. The food is good. When I was pregnant with Jack I practically lived on their mint chocolate chip drumsticks. (Is that why he's such a sweet tooth?) But we just don't eat frozen food very often. It's an unnecessary expense for us right now.
So instead of doing the mature thing and telling the guy we didn't want Schwan's anymore, I've been dodging him. Every other Tuesday evening I've been finding stuff to do so we wouldn't be home when he came over. We'd go shopping or to a friend's house. Or sometimes when I heard the truck coming, we would hide out in the basement like we were in the Underground Railroad. When Jack was a baby, I would put my hand over his mouth so he wouldn't cry. It was actually kind of a thrill, trying not to get caught.
And on the days that we forgot he was coming, and we'd be in the driveway playing when he pulled up, I knew I would be buying some sweet potato fries or ice cream sandwiches. Of course.
This has been going on for about a year and a half. Pathetic, I know.
But today was the day. After calling Jen and asking (again) if we could come over to play until after the Schwan's man came to our house, I decided enough was enough. I'm tired of the running. So I called the 800 number and told them we're trimming our budget and the Schwan's has to go.
It's over.
I grew up a little bit more today.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Forever Reign
Do you know the song Forever Reign? If not, listen to it. Right now. Go buy it on iTunes. Or if you're cheap, look it up on YouTube. Then come back and read the rest of this post.
We did that song yesterday. And every time I hear it, I'm taken back to the first time I led it. God was working on me big time.
On Saturday, November 26th, I was leading worship at Pathway. Tyler had asked us to wrap up the service with the song Forever Reign. I got to sing it. And I was pretty excited about it. Love that song!
But I was really nervous on November 26th. Not because of the song. I was supposed to start my period the next day. (Sorry if that's TMI for you males.) And, as I've mentioned before, November was our last try to get pregnant. I was planning to take a test on Sunday morning. And I was anxious.
Remember how the Bible says "be anxious for nothing" and we're supposed to give all our requests to God? Well...with the whole trying to get pregnant thing, I was pretty good at that. Until that weekend. Until it was the last try. Crunch time. And there was absolutely nothing else I could do but wait until the next day and pee on a stick.
And then in the middle of that song, I realized what I was singing. Words like "the riches of Your love will always be enough" and "You are Peace when my fear is crippling" and "You are God, of all else I'm letting go."
And I realized that I believed it. Somehow I had let the anxiety creep in. And I forgot. I forgot that His riches are enough. Always. I forgot that He gives me peace. Always. And that He is God, and I can let go of everything else. Always. No matter what the peestick says.
In moments like that, it's hard to keep singing. But I did.
And twelve hours later, the peestick had good news. :)
I sang that song twice more on Sunday. Same song as the night before. But a totally different experience for me. No one else would have known (no one else even knew that I was pregnant, except for Dustin). But God and I knew exactly what I was feeling. I can't really explain it, but it was a sweet, sweet moment between me and Jesus.
And as I sang those same words, I hoped that they would mean as much to someone else in the room as they meant to me.
You are more, You are more than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord, all creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here, in Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God, of all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world, forever reign
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