Turning Four

Jack turned four today.  As usual, God used an everyday parenting moment to teach me something.

Last night when I was putting Jack to bed, I took a super cute video of him and his thoughts on turning four (apparently four-year-olds can use real hammers.  Did anyone else know that?).  He finished by saying, "Bye three!  See you next year!"  After I stopped recording I explained how he actually wouldn't see three ever again.

And that sweet boy started to cry.  I was so confused.  Why is the kid crying when tomorrow is his birthday?  He's so excited for his birthday!  What is going on?  And then through the tears I heard, "I wanna keep being thrrrreeeeeeee!!!"

As a parent, I had a brief moment of panic.  What do I say to that?

What came out of my mouth next was most definitely from the Holy Spirit.  Because it was pretty awesome.  Whenever something awesome comes out of my mouth, it's because I have no idea what to say and the Holy Spirit steps in and speaks instead.

"Hey buddy.  God made us to grow and change.  He doesn't want you to stay three forever.  He made you to grow up.  He made you to turn four, and after that five, and six, and lots more!  He's going to keep teaching you new things as you grow up, so it's so awesome that you get to be four tomorrow!  And how about this, tomorrow mommy or daddy will help you use a real hammer!"

Okay, so the hammer thing was from me again.  But I'm so glad the Holy Spirit stepped in and spoke when it did.  Seriously.  That little message was for me just as much as it was for Jack.

God made us to grow and change.  It's obvious for kids.  They get bigger and learn things and develop new skills from year to year.  But as adults it's easy to forget to keep learning.  Keep growing.  Keep changing.  It's easy to think, "Well this is just the way I am."  Maybe it is.  Or maybe it's something that's keeping us from living out who God created us to be.  Who He is continually creating us to be.

This week I've been thinking a lot about my goals for 2014.  Probably sometime tomorrow or next week I'll write them down in my journal and on my bathroom mirror.  Goals of where I feel like God is leading me as a wife, mother, friend, employee, and child of Him.  I've been praying that He will point out some things that He wants me to consciously work on.  Things that will help me continue to grow and change this year.  Because I'm not done.  Not even close.  He is working on me and I can't wait to see what He will teach me in 2014.  And beyond.

We can try to stay three forever.  But it's so much better to turn four.

Happy New Year!

30 for 30 (32 days later)

It would have been a lot more poetic if I wrote this post two days ago.  30-30-30.  I thought about it two days ago.  Does that count?

I'm not going to share everything I did (see my last blog post).  After that post, I got a lot of feedback saying that no one thought I had wrong motives, and if people thought bad of me, who cares?  I appreciate the comments, but I wasn't concerned with what people thought, good or bad.  I was following the Holy Spirit's promptings and my personal conviction about Jesus' words in Matthew 6.  I had a wonderful time sharing some of my 30 for 30, and I had a wonderful time keeping some of them between me and Jesus.

I can't post this without mentioning The Birthday Project.  That's where I got this idea.  Look them up, they are wonderful.  Like them on Facebook.  And be inspired.

So here's my list.  Feel free to copy these ideas.  Most of them are not mine to begin with anyway.  If you see a number missing, it's because that one is a secret.  :)

I started my day a little before 7:00 am.  I wanted to do a whole bunch of my acts of kindness by myself in the morning so I could have a more relaxing afternoon/evening to spend with my family.  I got my little kindness kit ready: post-it notes, a roll of pennies, a roll of quarters, a bunch of dollar bills, gift cards, note cards, tape, pen, etc.  I got 22 acts done before 10:30 am!

1. Left a thank-you card and a small gift card for our mail carrier.  Taped it to the mailbox.  There is one lady that is my absolute favorite mail carrier.  If we're outside she always takes time to chat with us for a minute and she is so sweet!  I had no idea which mail carrier would be coming that day (especially since it was a Saturday), but turns out it was her!  How do I know?  Because about a week later I found this in the mailbox:

5. Stopped by Starbucks to get my morning coffee.  Left a little thank you note for one of our favorite baristas.  Just like the mail lady, she always wants to chat with us and play with our kids for a minute, even if Starbucks is crazy busy.  A few days later I was in there again and she said THANK YOU, and that our note made her day.  :)

8.  Took my treat receipt from Starbucks, put it in a baggie along with $2.16 and left it on the front porch of a friend.  (This one was gonna be a secret, but she texted me later in the day to say thanks.  :)  That's what happens when your friends know about 30-for-30.)

Next I went to Meijer.  I had to buy some stuff for Paisley's party the next day anyway.  While I was there I did a few acts of kindness:

9. Left a baggie full of pennies on the horse ride with a little note that said, "Take one!"

10.  Left a few quarters on the candy machines in the entrance.  

11.  When I went in to use the bathroom, I had an idea.  Yes, when I was sitting on the toilet.  I left encouraging notes on the mirrors in the bathroom.  Girls/women can be so hard on themselves, especially when looking in the mirror.  I'm hoping that the right people walked into the bathroom that day and read these words that they needed to hear!

This was probably my favorite act of kindness for the day.  Partially because I thought it up all by myself, on the spot.  And then someone told me about Operation Beautiful.  Check it out!

12.  While I was at Meijer I bought a few bags full of food items for the food pantry at Pathway.  Took them over to the church and delivered them to the food collection bin.

15.  Sent a care package to a young couple who lives far away from family.

16.  Paid for the car behind me at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru.  I was hoping he wouldn't see me, but he caught up with me at the stop light and rolled down his window.  He said, "Was this you? Wow! I never get a dozen donuts!  We have friends visiting from out of town!  Thank you so much!"  Okay, that kind of made my day.  

17.  Put gas in Dustin's car.  Don't forget your family when you're doing acts of kindness!

18.  Scattered pennies around a local park.  Because kids LOVE to find pennies, am I right?

22.  Brought donuts home to my family.  They were so excited!  

And that wrapped up my morning.  22 acts of kindness in about 3.5 hours.  It was like I was a ninja.  A Kindness Ninja!

Which brings me to Kindness Ninjas.  I stumbled across this awesomeness a couple years ago when we got a canvas from CanvasOnDemand.  When they sent us our order, they also included some Kindness Ninja cards.  I think the name "Kindness Ninja" is pretty self-explanatory.  But if you want to learn more, click the link above.  I took LOTS of Kindness Ninja cards with me throughout the day and I left them whenever I did something random (pennies on the horse, I gave one to the DD worker to give to the car behind me, etc.).  I highly recommend being a Kindness Ninja.  It is so fun!

After Paisley's morning nap we went to the zoo.  All four of us.  My pace slowed waaaaay down, but that was the point.  To be able to spend time with my family.  And do a few acts of kindness together.

23. We bought extra tokens at the giraffe exhibit.  Jack got to use one to feed the giraffes, and then he helped me pick out other kids to give the rest to.  I was surprised how my shy little boy was so eager to help give away the tokens to kids he didn't know!

This has nothing to do with acts of kindness.
It's just my crazy little family on the log ride on my birthday.  Love them!

24. When Jack and I were waiting in line at the bathroom to change into his swimsuit (for the next act of kindness!), a mom and little girl were in line behind us, and I could tell the little girl REALLY had to pee.  So we let them go in front of us in line.

25.  This might be my favorite act of kindness.  The whole reason I wanted to take my family to the zoo.  My act of kindness for Jack.  EVERY single time we walk past this fountain, he wants to get in it.  And EVERY single time, I've said, "Maybe next time."  Well today was the day. 

He was so excited!  And a little intimidated by the other kids in the fountain.  But all in all, he had a great time.

We left the zoo and took the kids home for nap time.  My parents came over so Dustin and I could finish the last few acts of kindness by ourselves.  

26.  This might be my favorite act of kindness (wait, have I said that before?).  I have a good friend (who shall remain anonymous) who owns a recording studio (wait, did that give it away?).  When he heard about my 30-for-30, he wanted to be a part of it.  So he donated a 4-hour recording session, enough to record and mix one song.  And he told me I could give it to anyone I wanted to.  I was SO excited!  I gave it to another very good friend of mine who writes songs in her spare time.  I called her and had to tell her in a voice mail.  But she called me back a couple hours later and told me that my voice mail made her cry!  She was so excited and thankful for the gift!  And I am excited for my friends to get together and record something beautiful.  Can't wait to hear it!  

27. We had a gift card to Biaggi's lying around our house (actually we had three, but I only used one for this).  I walked into the restaurant and gave it to the hostess (along with a Kindness Ninja card) and told her to give it to the next person who walked in the door.  

28. We walked into Bed, Bath, and Beyond and left a gift card (with a KN card) on a random shelf.  Well, not totally random.  Dustin got to pick.  And so we put it in the coffee section.  Of course.

29.  This one was maybe the most fun!  We left Starbucks gift cards (and KN cards, of course) inside books at Barnes & Noble.  It was fun looking through the books and figuring out which books to put them in!  We had four gift cards: Dustin picked a nursing book, one that he said every nursing student needs to purchase at some point.  I picked a book about Elvis.  Dustin picked a book about Tim Tebow.  And then I picked a novel called Snow Baby or something like that.  It was so fun!  And we were trying not to get caught, so that always adds to the fun.  :) 

30.  Last one!  I made up a few little baggies with $1.07 in them.  And we went to the dollar store and left them throughout the toy section.  Hope those made some little kids' day!

And that was it.  We went to Panera and ate dinner together before we headed home.  It was such a wonderful day!  I wouldn't have chosen anything else to do for my 30th birthday.  I was pooped (I might be getting old?), but so excited to think about how the tiny little things I did could maybe bless someone else in a big way.

And I was blessed too.  

Thinking on 30 for 30

I've gotta admit, I've been torn.  Torn with this whole "30 for 30" thing.

It's not whether I want to do it or not.  I'm so excited about that!  I'm torn with how much to share about it.  On this blog, on Facebook, in conversation, etc.  The past couple weeks I've been wrestling with thoughts like, "Am I tooting my own horn?  Am I being like the hypocrites that Jesus describes in Matthew 6..."

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

(I actually had this passage in mind BEFORE my good friend Tyler preached on it last Sunday. Funny how things line up like that.)

The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself with this thing.  However, I feel like I need to share what I'm doing. That's what inspires people.  After all, I got the idea from reading about another lady who did it.  If she hadn't ever blogged about it, I would never have gotten inspired to do it.  You can read about her birthday here.  Her blog also inspired something called The Birthday Project.  You should go LIKE that on Facebook.  Super awesome.  

So after some serious thought and prayer, I have decided to share only part of my 30 acts of kindness.  Some of the stuff will be seen, and some of it will be unseen.  You'll have to trust that I'm actually doing 30 (I promise I will!), but I feel good about that.  I love that some of my acts of kindness will be a secret. That kinda makes it more fun!  

And now I'm just excited.  Can't wait for Saturday!!!

Mr. Beverage

Ok, real quick post.  Not sure why his name is Mr. Beverage.  Pretty sure that's a nickname. Anyway, I said I would post about him, so here he is.

His house is about the size of my living room.  He invited us all inside.  We barely fit in there.  And he has ten kids!  (Not all the kids were around for this photo.)  To be honest, I don't really know if he's their dad or uncle or what, but he's a pretty cool guy.  We gave his family lots and lots of FMSC meals.

If any of you Haiti ladies have any more clarity on Mr. Beverage, feel free to comment.  I guess I don't know a lot about him.  Except I like his name.  :)

Jeffrey

Haiti Day 4 Continued.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post (Sweet Baby Girls), while a couple of us were at each house, the rest of us stayed out in the street and played with the kids.  While I was at the house with the baby girl, something terrible was happening in the street.  I missed it, but the other girls told me all about it.

Bullying.

Bullying sucks, no matter where it is.  This time the kids ganged up on a little boy named Jeffrey.  Jeffrey is one of several children in his family, and is about seven years old.  He doesn't talk much, and he isn't quite as "good looking" as his siblings.  His eyes are a little bit different and his skin has some rough patches on it.  He may have had a slight learning disability of some kind.  Like I mentioned in an earlier post (They Are Weak But He Is Strong), in Haiti kids who are different or have a disability of any kind are seen as shameful or worthless.  I don't think Jeffrey's parents saw his as that extreme, but they definitely treated him differently than his siblings.  They didn't give him the nicest clothes or shoes they had.  The nice, new ones always went to his siblings.

This day (and probably lots of other days that we aren't there), the village kids were very cruel to Jeffrey.  I don't know all the details of what happened while I was in that house, but the end result was he was on the ground getting kicked and hit by the other kids.  Fortunately for Jeffrey, there were several adults in the street (and lots of them were mommas!) and they stepped in right away.  He was covered in dirt and had scratches and bruises all over.

We happened to be right by the ODH orphanage, so Tiroro (one of our translators) took him into the orphanage and gave him a shower and some clean clothes.  Jeffrey was at Tiroro's side the rest of the day.

Jeffrey in the red, resting on Tiroro.  

We saw Jeffrey a lot the rest of the week.  The next day he came with us to visit some other people.  And while I was leading some worship songs from the guitar, he sat on Angie's lap.  

When we left that house Angie looked at me and said, "Jeffrey was singing."  The whole week we didn't ever hear him say a word, except for telling us his name.  But he was SINGING.  How awesome!  That is why I do what I do.  Because people like Jeffrey who have nothing to say can somehow still connect with God and others through music.  WIN.

Throughout the rest of the week, our team took Jeffrey under our wings.  He had a whole bunch of mommas looking out for him!  There were several times that we caught the other kids being mean to him again, but we were quick to tell them "No!" (with the language barrier, that's about all we could say).  One of our girls held him while he took a nap.  We snuck him snacks when the other kids weren't looking (per our leaders' instructions).  We sent Tiroro to the store to buy him some new shoes.  We asked one of the other guys to give him a haircut.  And we gave him lots and lots of hugs.

A few days before I left for our trip, Jack had told me he wanted to get a card for me to give a little boy in Haiti.  I didn't know which little boy I would give it to, but by the end of the week I knew I should give it to Jeffrey.  

Giving Jack's card to Jeffrey.

I hope the card made him feel special.  During that week we got to know Jeffrey, he didn't smile a whole lot, but he was smiling when he got that card.  I showed him a picture of Jack and tried to explain that it was from him.  Whether he understood what I was saying or not, it was something special just for him.

In the card I had written, "Jesus loves you!  I'm praying for you!  Love, Jack"  I'm not sure he will ever actually read those words, but they are true.  Jesus loves Jeffrey very much.  And Jack and I pray for him all the time.

Sweet Baby Girls

Haiti Day 4

Went to Prayer Mountain.  Always a great way to start out the day.

Team photo on our way back down from the mountain.
Coolest tree ever!

Went to the orphanage to start painting the wall.  We didn't get it finished but planned to go back to complete it in a couple days.   The paint wasn't the quality that we were used to, so it was a little challenging, but we got the job done.

Liz with her blank canvas.
She designed an awesome mural!

Happy painters at work!

When we were finished.
We weren't able to add the green leaves on the tree
because of the paint issues.  However....

Another team came a few weeks after us and
brought the right paint to finish the tree!
It looks awesome!
And I love the little kids' feet at the bottom!

So glad we could be a part of making the orphanage a little more cheery!  

After lunch we gathered some medical supplies and FMSC meals and started walking around the village.  When we came to a house, we would stop and a couple of us would go in with FanFan to translate, to see if anyone needed medical care or food.  Heather, our RN on the team, was able to hand out some medicine and give medical advice to several people, and we handed out food to almost everybody.  

While just a couple of us were going into each house, the rest of us hung out in the street (dirt road) with the kids that started following us along the way.  It was so much fun!  Just spending time with the kids and getting to know them.  Teaching them some English and them teaching us some Creole.  And they LOVED carrying our backpacks for us. 

One house we stopped at had a baby girl about Paisley's size.  And her mom let me hold her.  Oh. My. Word. What a sweetie!  The mom said she was about a year old, but I'm sure she weighed less than Paisley (who was six months old at the time).  Everyone is smaller there.  

Giving them FMSC meals.
Nevermind the kid with no pants on.
And isn't the baby girl's half-done hair awesome!  :)

When we finished giving them the supplies, FanFan started praying for them.  I stood off to the side with that sweet baby girl.  And I prayed for her.  And I held her tight.  And I cried.  Not because I missed my baby girl.  She reminded me so much of her.  I cried because I started thinking about how different their lives are. About all the things and opportunities my girl has.  And how this baby girl has almost nothing.  And how their lives will continue to be different as they grow up.  I was so overcome by that thought.  

Praying for the sweet baby girl.

Later that night I was thinking about that little girl.  And my little girl.  And how God loves them the SAME.  Not only does He love them the same, but he SEES them the same.  It's not like He's thinking, "Oh, they are so different, but my love for them is the same."  He actually sees them in the same way.  He doesn't see their surroundings or their possessions or how many opportunities they have or how different their earthly lives are.  He just sees their hearts.  He just sees two little girls that He created and knows intimately.  He loves them both deeply.  That love sent Him to the cross.  For both of them.  Wow.  

This was my prayer in my journal that night:

God, that is one thing I love about You so much: that you see us all the same.  As precious children that You love so much.  Please teach me how to see people like that.  

There's more to Haiti Day 4.  Namely, a little boy named Jeffrey and a man named Mr. Beverage.  But I'll save them for another post.

"I like having a baby sister."

This post is mostly for me.  Because I don't journal about my kids.  And Jack was so stinkin' adorable tonight.  In a funny way, in a sweet way, in a cute way, in a stinker way....

Jack-ism #1
I told him to watch Paisley for a minute (literally a minute) while I ran downstairs to get her pajamas out of the dryer.  As I was coming back up, she started screaming.  I asked him what happened.

Jack: "Nuffing.  She just started crying."
Me: "Nothing?  You didn't do anything to her?"
Jack: "I just did this!"  (started doing his best dance move, the one with his elbows sticking out)
Me: "And did you hit her or kick her while you were doing that?  Did you bump her accidentally?"
Jack:  "No!  I just was dancing and she didn't like it so she started crying."
Me: (holding back my laughter) "Jack, you won't be in trouble.  Please tell me the truth."
Jack: "I won't be in trouble?  I won't have a time-out or get my bottom spanked?"
Me: "Nope, you won't be in trouble.  Please tell me what happened."
Jack: "I picked her up and she fell.  I think she has a headache now."

Two things hilarious about this story.  1.  He thought he could pick her up.  He's only got about 10 pounds on her.  I'm guessing she didn't get too far from the ground.  And 2. He thought that saying she didn't like his dance moves was a realistic reason why she was crying.  Ha!  Oh, Jack.

Jack-ism #2
He came upstairs as I was rocking Paisley and wanted to sing with me.  We sang "You Never Let Go" and "Happy as the Sun."  When we finished that one he looked up at me and said, "I like having a baby sister."  Ahhhhhh that makes my heart so happy!

Jack-ism #3
He brought me an apple from the kitchen and said, "Mommy, I washed this and dried it for you.  Eat it now."  I had already eaten one apple today (and I'm pretty sure the rule is "an apple a day keeps the doctor away; two apples a day gives you bowel issues"), but how could I turn him down?  He was being so kind!

Jack-ism #4
He said, "Mommy, what does 'Unnnnnnnn' start with?"
Me: "Unnnnnn?"
Jack: "Yeah.  Unnnnnnnn.  What letter does that start with?"
Me: "Um....uh.....the letter U?"
Jack: "No, Unnnnnnnnnnn!  What does it start with?"
Me: "N?"
Jack: "No!  Unnnnnnnnn!  Like 'ooooonion!'"
Me: "Oh, onion?  That starts with O."
Jack: "No it doesn't!  Unnnnnnnnnnn!!!!"

I still have no idea what he was asking.

Jack-ism #5
It was time to go to bed.  I told him to start going potty while I got his blanket out of the dryer (most of our clothes are in the basement/dryer).  I was downstairs for maybe 20 seconds this time.  I came back up and he told me he had already gone potty.

Me: "Jack, there's no way you already went potty."
Jack: "Yeah I did!  I went in that potty right there!" (points to the bathroom)
Me: "Jack, I know you didn't go potty."
Jack: "Yeah I did!"
Me: "Are you just teasing?"
Jack: "No, I'm serious!"
Me: "Jack, are you telling me the truth?"
Jack: "Yes, I'm telling the truth!"
Me: "Really?  Because God knows the truth.  And I'll ask Him."
Jack: "I'm just teasing, I didn't go potty yet."

Boom.  And that's how it's done.  :)

Those Kids

Haiti Day 3.

Ready for another day!

The plan was to go into Cap Hatien (about an hour ride in the back of the truck) to spend time at the children's hospital and maternity ward.  But when we got there, there really wasn't anything for us to do.  All the kids had their moms with them.  We kind of just stood there, awkwardly in the way, until we finally decided it would be best just to leave.  But during that short time, Mindy and I were standing by a crib with two tiny baby twins in it.  Their mom said they were 3 months old, but there was no way.  They were so small.  They looked about 3 days old.  Their mom said they did not eat well, so her milk dried up.  She held up an empty formula can, saying she had nothing to feed her babies.  IN the hospital.  I think about her often, especially when I scoop out formula to give to my chunky, healthy baby.

Some pictures of the drive into Cap Hatien

Since we had driven an hour to get to Cap Hatien, we decided to stay and "sightsee."  Which meant visiting a market and eating lunch.  The Haitian version of pizza, burgers, and fries.  Pretty good!  Julie ordered a plate of goat for us to try.  To quote my journal, it was "not my fave."  

Our team at the restaurant

We drove back to the compound without a plan for the rest of the day.  So we decided to bless the kids that we saw along the road every day when we rode in the truck.  The kids that got so excited when they saw us, waving and yelling "Blanc! Blanc!" every day. We had a bunch of grocery bags and we filled them with FMSC meals, clothes (pillowcase dresses, shorts, t-shirts), toothbrushes/paste, little toys, candy, etc.  (oh, and some recorders that a music teacher had donated).  Jack had picked out some of his books from his own bookshelf to give to the kids in Haiti, so I took those along.  He also had put a "present bow" on the books.  So I stuck it to my shirt before we headed out.  

     

Some shots of us preparing the bags.  I'm writing little cards that say "Jezi Renmen Ou!" Jesus Loves You!  And there's the present bow.  

We piled into the back of our truck with our goodie bags.  And the chaos began...

When we saw a house with kids outside, we stopped to give them a bag.  And then more kids would run over.  And more kids.  And more kids.  And parents.  Begging to give them whatever we had.  We had to drive off without giving something to everybody (and trying not to run anybody over as they crowded around the truck).  Which wasn't fun, but it was reality.  

Some of the kids didn't know what to do with the stuff.  There was one little boy that we all remember...he was all by himself on the side of the road wearing blue underwear.  We gave him a bag and as we pulled away he just stood there holding it.  Didn't open it or anything.  And we realized that he probably had never been given a present before; he didn't know what to do.  Sooooooooo different from kids in the US.  

Our favorite little boy in the blue underwear with his goodies.

There was a boy riding on the front of his bike with his dad.  We stopped to give him some stuff.  And I gave him Jack's present bow; stuck it to his shirt.  He wasn't sure what it was or what to do with it.  But I hope he liked it!  

When we ran out of bags we drove back to the compound.  And on the way we heard several kids playing their new recorders.  Probably driving their parents crazy already.  :)  

A couple things stuck out to me about this day.  First, we thought we had a plan, and that didn't work out.  But it's not our plan that matters anyway.  God knew what we would be doing that day; He just waited until the last-minute to let us know.

And we got to be a part of something very special.  We got to be a part of the completion process.  So often, as the "givers" we send money or supplies and never get to see the end result.  We trust that God will take it to the people who need it.  And that's great and fine.  But this day I got to be a part of the ending too.  When we packed the FMSC meals at Pathway, we prayed for the people who would receive them.  And I saw those people today.  I touched them and handed them a meal.  When Jack and I packed the box full of his books and supplies for people, we prayed over the box and for the kids who would get that stuff.  And I handed it to THOSE KIDS today.  It's crazy to think that his books that were on a bookshelf in our basement in Indiana are now in little huts in Haiti.  

I got to be a part of the beginning and the ending of the process.  I'm so thankful that He lets us in on what He's doing.  In Indiana and in Haiti.  

They Are Weak But He Is Strong

Pretty much gonna copy my journal entry from Day 2 in Haiti.  It explains things pretty well.  :)

1/30/13

Happy 6-month birthday Paisley!  

• Woke up early and went to Prayer Mountain.
• Wait, before that.  Woke up to the sound of singing at the church next door.  At 5am.  Yep.  And they sang for hours last night.  And there were goats and chickens and roosters waking us up too.  :)
• Prayer Mountain was pretty awesome.  AMAZING view.  Seriously.  It looked fake.  And random people were just there, praying and singing.  How awesome to have a place to gather and do that! Anybody, at any time, for any reason.  Hmmmm....

The view at Prayer Mountain during sunrise.

The FW girls in the back of the truck.  Ready for another day!

• Went to the hospital/rehab place/children with disabilities home.  Super awesome. 

***Side note: A little bit about this place.  It's a hospital that's run by a British couple.  Some of the only other white people we saw all week!  It has "regular" hospital stuff...an ER, maternity, surgical, pediatric unit, etc.  But it has an AWESOME rehab facility too.  Extremely nice facilities for Haiti.  Several of the guys were training for the Paralympics in Rio in 2016.  And one of them won a gold medal in London 2012!

There is also a home on the campus for children with disabilities.  Most of the kids only came a few days out of the week, just to give their parents a break.  A few of the kids actually live there.  In Haiti, a child that has a disability of any kind is considered a shame to the family.  They almost never (if ever) are allowed out of the house, because the family doesn't want the child to be seen.  The Creole word for kids like these is the same word as "worthless." At this home the kids are fed and cared for by several caretakers.  

*Back to my journal now. 

• Made salvation bracelets with some men in the rehab center.  They were actually really into it and appreciated it!  And the nurse too. She told us (through our translator, Tiroro) that she never liked the color purple until today, now that she knows what it means.  And she will use her bracelet to preach to others.  And Bernard, what a sweet man!  Taught us how to make a slip knot.  And called us friends!  And the paralympic champion was so cute!  Such a proud/shy smile when we clapped for him!

Learning the slip knot from Bernard.

Some of us with the paralympian!  Leon Gaisli.  Gold medal at London 2012.  It's true.
Fun fact: he also knows how to crochet.  Here he is working on some hats to sell.
Also, the nurse who learned to love purple is on the far left.

• The KIDS.  Oh my word!  So precious.  The phrase "the least of these" kept running through my head.  The little girl giggling when I answered the toy phone.  The other little girl squatting to pee in the dirt.  The older girl's smile when I made a big deal about her.  Little Shante walking with me.  And just looking at them look at me playing guitar.  Ahhhh!

Little Shante.

Making sweet music together.

Connie loving on some boys while I play guitar.

• I found myself calling the little girls "sister" or "sis."  That's what I call Paisley.  It surprised me at first, like maybe I shouldn't call them that.  Like it was reserved for my own daughter.  But then I thought, "Why should I reserve this term of affection only for my own biological daughter? Whey can't I show these girls some love too?"  And just calling them "sister" made me feel more bonded to them somehow.  Did they sense it?  I have no idea.  But I sure did.  

     

• As FanFan and Julie started singing "Glorious Day" I started to get teary.  I looked around at all the precious kiddos.  And thought about how they will be in heaven with us.  And how they will be full and complete and whole.  Oh Glorious Day!

• I got a little choked up on Jesus Loves Me too.  "Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong."

Welcome the Blancs

The "day we left for Haiti" was actually just us traveling to Florida.  There was a delayed flight, but we hopped on the next flight.  That's about as exciting as it got.  Once we flew into West Palm, a shuttle driver took us 45 minutes away to Ft. Pierce, where our MFI (Missionary Flights International) flight was leaving the next morning.

With the delays and everything, we got to our hotel in Ft. Pierce around 1:00 am.  And we woke up at 4:45 am to leave for the MFI airport.  Very little sleep, but enough adrenaline and anticipation to get us through the day.

Our team in front of the MFI plane that would take us to Haiti!

The plane had been described to us as a "cargo plane" but was actually a lot nicer than what we were expecting!  It was definitely the most fun, laid-back flight I have ever been on.  I figured that out when 30 minutes into the flight, the co-pilot came back with a box of donuts and asked us if we wanted any.  

On our way down to Haiti we had to stop in the Bahamas for fuel (literally 15 minutes) and then in the Dominican Republic to drop off a missionary family who was moving there full-time.  Dogs included.  They were a pretty awesome family!  You can check out their blog here.  So yes, from the US to the Bahamas to the DR to Haiti = 4 countries in one day.

Once we got to Haiti, everything seemed to happen so fast!  Here are some highlights:  

• Seeing Julie and FanFan at the airport, so excited to see us! (newlyweds and leaders of our trip)
• That first ride in the back of the truck (there would be many more) from the airport to the ODH compound.  Julie had told us that the kids along the road would be so excited to see white people, and she was so right!  We waved to all the kids as we drove by and they waved and jumped up and down and yelled "Blanc! Blanc!"  (Creole for "White!")  We drove from Cap Hatien (where the airport is) to a small village called Limonade, where Open Door Haiti is located.  That's where we stayed all week.
• Walked from the ODH compound to the orphanage (which was very close, like a 3-minute walk).  Just that walk was so much fun....kids from the village came out to see the blancs and walk with us, hold our hands, etc. (this turned out to be one of our favorite things to do: just walk around the village with the kids)
• Once we got to the orphanage, the kids were so excited to see us!  One little girl in particular latched on to me, and I have to say I didn't mind.  She was pretty cute!  

Me and my new little friend, Keisha, on our first day in Haiti.

The kids loved playing with our hair and our watches and bracelets.  You don't think about the hair thing, but our hair is so different than theirs; they were fascinated by it.  

We walked back to ODH before it got dark (around 5:00).  We made sure we were back at the compound each night before dark, just for safety.  We ate dinner (YUM!) and hung out for a little bit.  We were all ready for bed pretty early.  Which was good, because we woke up at 5:00 am the next morning to go to Prayer Mountain.  

But I'll save that for another post.  :)

CHILL!

I've had lots of people say, "I want to hear about your Haiti trip!"  I figure this blog might be the best way to share my experiences with those who want to hear.  I'll go through my journal to help remind myself of what we did each day and what God taught me while we were there.  Stay tuned for several blog posts over the next week or two....

January 27, 2013: The day before we left.

The week before the trip I was having a REALLY hard time with leaving the kids.  I really believe the enemy was involved with that.  I was almost dreading the trip because I didn't want to leave the kids.  Which is not like me at all.  Normally I'm fine with leaving them.  And they were staying with grandparents or Dustin the entire time, so I knew they would be well taken care of (and probably have more fun than they would with me!). But nine days seemed like a really long time.  And I was stressed about packing their bags to stay with grandparents, making sure there was enough formula/baby food, leaving detailed instructions for feeding, bathing, etc. for Paisley.  I was a mess!

Sunday morning at church my sweet friend Carrie sang "Healer" by Kari Jobe.  And I posted a paper on the prayer wall that simply said, "Peace".  That's what I needed prayer for.  I was 24 hours away from leaving for Haiti and I was NOT peaceful about it.  Not at all.  I got to talk to Carrie afterwards and she promised to pray for me specifically about leaving the kids and missing them while I was gone.  What a blessing!

That evening I was rocking Paisley to sleep, thinking, "This is the last time I'll rock her to sleep!" and suddenly the Holy Spirit hit me like a bag of bricks, saying, "You need to CHILL!"  Seriously, that's what He said.  "This is NOT the last time you will rock your baby to sleep.  You will rock her again when you come back.  You will do everything again when you come back.  Stop being so weepy about it."

That was a huge moment for me.  I guess tough love is my style!  Here is an excerpt from my journal that night:

"Will I miss my kids? Oh yes.  Probably a lot.  But do I need to get all weepy about it? No, not really.  Because I am excited for Haiti. God decided a long time ago that I would be going, and He's been preparing for me to be there this week. He's been preparing me, preparing the people we will meet; He's got things to teach us that we just wouldn't get in the U.S.

So I am excited for that! Excited for a change of pace. Excited to get to know and worship Him with His kids over there. Who are so different than me, yet the same too. I'm excited to have a break from being a mom and just have an adventure. I'm excited to get to know the other girls on the team better and to sharpen each other. I'm excited for Prayer Mountain and to connect with God there in a new and refreshing environment. I'm excited to connect with God through the orphans, the elderly, the babies, and the sick.

And I know when the week is over, I will be so excited to come home and see the kids and Dustin. But I shouldn't be sad now. This is a good thing. They need to see their mom investing is something other than just them. They need to see me taking care of myself and taking care of others. They need to know that they are not the most important thing in my life (although lots of days it feels that way). They need to see me serving God, whether that's by taking care of them or taking care of others or going to Haiti. This week it's Haiti.

God, I know You will take care of my kids this week. Just like You do when I'm with them. Sometimes I like to think that I'm the one who takes care of them because they're mine. But they are Yours. Thank you for letting me be part of their lives.  And thank you for continually reminding me of Your perspective. I am now chill.  :) Thank you for giving me PEACE."

And then the next day we got on a plane.  Stay tuned....

New Every Morning

Being a parent has taught me so much more about how God loves us.  Except He is a perfect parent (I am not).  And He is so much more than a parent (I am not).  But He's using this experience of raising my kids to teach me a little smidgen of how He feels about us.  Take yesterday for example...

Jack was a BEAST yesterday.  The morning was deceptively okay.  Then we had his first swim lesson at the Y.  Oh. My. Word.  He screamed throughout the whole swim lesson.  (Which was extra frustrating because he normally LOVES swimming.)  I made him stay and do everything with his teacher.  He did almost everything.  He just was crying/screaming/flailing while he did it.  So embarrassing.  Then he started to gag as if he was going to throw up (that happens a lot) so I made him get out of the pool.  I made him apologize to his teacher.  Which came out, "I'm saaaaaaaooooowwwwwwwwwyyyyyyyy!"  

Then he asked me if he would get a cake pop (his reward if he had a good attitude at swim class).  I told him absolutely not.  More crying.  

Then we went to the family locker room to get dressed.  He did NOT want to get dressed.  I literally wrestled him on the locker room floor (gross) for 20 minutes trying to get him dressed.  Got underwear and one sock on.  Then he had to pee.  But refused to use that toilet, he wanted a different toilet.  Finally I sat him on a bench and stepped out in the hallway for a time-out.  For him and for me.  

After a couple minutes he finally calmed down and conceded to get dressed and pee.  We picked up his sister and headed home.  He fell asleep on the way home and I thought, "YES! Nap time!"  No.  He woke up the second I laid him down in his bed.  So we ate lunch instead.  During which he punched the dog in the face.  Time-out.  Apologize to the dog.  Then he kicked the dog in the face.  Time-out.  Apologize to the dog. 

Then we tried nap time again.  I said, "When you wake up, Daddy will be home."  So 15 minutes later when Jack heard the garage door go up, he said, "Daddy's home, so nap time is over!" Um....not quite what I meant.  But okay I guess.  Sure, run around in just your pull-up.  It's not cold out or anything.  

Then while I was making dinner, Jack was watching a show on the iPad, plugged into the wall in the living room.  I noticed he had taken his pull-up off and was now completely naked.  I asked him why he took it off and he said, "I peed in it.  And I peed right there on the carpet."  

Excuse me?  You peed on the carpet?  Time-out.  And iPad privileges taken away.  Are you kidding me?  You really peed on the carpet?  

Thankfully the husband took care of the pee mess.  Did I ever tell you thank you?  Thanks Dustin.  

By 5:30 I couldn't wait for the day to be over.  I wasn't mad or upset or anything.  Just exhausted.  And I was ready to start a new day.  Then the phrase, "His mercies are new every morning" popped into my head.  That means tomorrow is a new, fresh day!  I was definitely going to have new mercies for my son in the morning.  He's my kid, and I love him not matter what.  Exhausted or not.  I couldn't wait for a new day so we could try again.  

Just like God has new mercies for us.  How often do we have a "scream for an hour at the Y, punch the dog in the face, pee on the carpet" kind of day, or week, or month, or year?  I know I've had seasons where I've acted that way.  I still have times that I act that way.  And He has renewed mercy for me.  Always.  

Thank God.  

Dum Dums

I've gotta say, I'm a little embarrassed about how long it's been since I've blogged.  I could catch up on life between then and now.  But six months is a long time frame to cover.  And they have been a super eventful six months.  If you really want to know what I've been up to, check Facebook.

This post is specifically about Haiti.  Yep, I'm going to Haiti.  Very soon.  Pretty excited about that.  And there are some pretty awesome women going with me.  :)

Even more specifically than that, this post is about Dum Dums.  The suckers.  You know.  The kind you get at the bank.  There's a huge bag of Dum Dum suckers sitting in my dining room.  It's going to Haiti.  We get to hand out candy to the kids.  Jack saw that bag today and asked what it was for.  I told him I was taking it with me on my trip so I could give suckers to all the kids who don't have mommies and daddies.

And then I stopped.  Did I really just say that?

"I'm taking the suckers to the kids who don't have mommies and daddies."

The absurdity of that comment hit me like a truck.  These are children who don't have mommies and daddies.  And I decide I'm going to give them.....suckers.

Yeah.  That'll help.

I started to second-guess my gift.  Should I get them more?  Should I not take anything at all?  I mean, if I can't provide for their deepest needs, then why bother?  I started to feel stupid and overwhelmed and fearful and powerless all at the same time.

And then I remembered something Mother Teresa said once.  She's a cool lady.  She said to do small things with great love.  

Dum Dums are small.  Now all I need is great love.  And I know Who to go to for that.

That's the reason we're going to Haiti in the first place.  To do small things with great love.  Nothing we're doing is going to be huge.  Painting some walls, hugging some kids, singing some songs, feeding some people....none of these are great things.  They are really quite ordinary and small.  But we are going to LOVE.  Share the love that's already been shared with us.  Believing that God can do a great, awesome work with our tiny little bits of smallness.  When He lives in us, even the most ordinary things become extraordinary.

So yes, I am taking Dum Dums to Haiti.  And I will give them to orphans.  With great love.