CHILL!

I've had lots of people say, "I want to hear about your Haiti trip!"  I figure this blog might be the best way to share my experiences with those who want to hear.  I'll go through my journal to help remind myself of what we did each day and what God taught me while we were there.  Stay tuned for several blog posts over the next week or two....

January 27, 2013: The day before we left.

The week before the trip I was having a REALLY hard time with leaving the kids.  I really believe the enemy was involved with that.  I was almost dreading the trip because I didn't want to leave the kids.  Which is not like me at all.  Normally I'm fine with leaving them.  And they were staying with grandparents or Dustin the entire time, so I knew they would be well taken care of (and probably have more fun than they would with me!). But nine days seemed like a really long time.  And I was stressed about packing their bags to stay with grandparents, making sure there was enough formula/baby food, leaving detailed instructions for feeding, bathing, etc. for Paisley.  I was a mess!

Sunday morning at church my sweet friend Carrie sang "Healer" by Kari Jobe.  And I posted a paper on the prayer wall that simply said, "Peace".  That's what I needed prayer for.  I was 24 hours away from leaving for Haiti and I was NOT peaceful about it.  Not at all.  I got to talk to Carrie afterwards and she promised to pray for me specifically about leaving the kids and missing them while I was gone.  What a blessing!

That evening I was rocking Paisley to sleep, thinking, "This is the last time I'll rock her to sleep!" and suddenly the Holy Spirit hit me like a bag of bricks, saying, "You need to CHILL!"  Seriously, that's what He said.  "This is NOT the last time you will rock your baby to sleep.  You will rock her again when you come back.  You will do everything again when you come back.  Stop being so weepy about it."

That was a huge moment for me.  I guess tough love is my style!  Here is an excerpt from my journal that night:

"Will I miss my kids? Oh yes.  Probably a lot.  But do I need to get all weepy about it? No, not really.  Because I am excited for Haiti. God decided a long time ago that I would be going, and He's been preparing for me to be there this week. He's been preparing me, preparing the people we will meet; He's got things to teach us that we just wouldn't get in the U.S.

So I am excited for that! Excited for a change of pace. Excited to get to know and worship Him with His kids over there. Who are so different than me, yet the same too. I'm excited to have a break from being a mom and just have an adventure. I'm excited to get to know the other girls on the team better and to sharpen each other. I'm excited for Prayer Mountain and to connect with God there in a new and refreshing environment. I'm excited to connect with God through the orphans, the elderly, the babies, and the sick.

And I know when the week is over, I will be so excited to come home and see the kids and Dustin. But I shouldn't be sad now. This is a good thing. They need to see their mom investing is something other than just them. They need to see me taking care of myself and taking care of others. They need to know that they are not the most important thing in my life (although lots of days it feels that way). They need to see me serving God, whether that's by taking care of them or taking care of others or going to Haiti. This week it's Haiti.

God, I know You will take care of my kids this week. Just like You do when I'm with them. Sometimes I like to think that I'm the one who takes care of them because they're mine. But they are Yours. Thank you for letting me be part of their lives.  And thank you for continually reminding me of Your perspective. I am now chill.  :) Thank you for giving me PEACE."

And then the next day we got on a plane.  Stay tuned....