Just a Snare

My friend Kyle just started a drum company.  He recently built us a snare drum to use at Pathway.  It's pretty stinkin' amazing.  (If you're interested, check out LevyDrumCo.)  The plan is for him to eventually build us a whole kit.  I. Can't. Wait.

This weekend, Kyle played with us on the team.  Which is always a treat.  Mostly because of his hair.  :)  And he plays the snot outta the drums.

As I watched him playing that snare that he built with his own hands, I couldn't help but think how cool that must be.  To create something from nothing.  And then to play it...to use it for its intended purpose.  So I asked him about it.  Asked him how it felt to play that drum.  Here are some of his quotes from our conversation:  

"Yeah it's pretty sweet."  

"I know everything that's wrong with it."  

"I built it with a purpose in mind.  A specific sound I wanted to get out of it."  

"Everything on it is there for a reason."  

So....just to recap:

He thinks it's pretty sweet that he gets to play his creation.  

He knows everything that's wrong with it, but still makes awesome-ness come out of it.

He created it for a specific purpose.  To be used in a certain way.  He knew in advance what he wanted it to do and he made it to do just that.

Every detail that's included in that drum is there for a reason.  It contributes to how the drum sounds, and how it contributes to the whole band.  To the whole worship music experience for all of us.

Sound familiar?  

We are just a snare.  

We have things wrong with us.  And our Creator knows it.  Better than anyone else.  But He still wants to use us for awesome-ness.

We were created with a specific purpose in mind.  

Everything about us is there for a reason.  Every personality trait.  Every past experience, whether good or bad.  Every detail of our lives builds who we are and how our story sounds.  And how it contributes to The Bigger Story.  

And our Creator thinks it's pretty sweet to make music with us.

Wait, I think that's worth saying again.

Our Creator thinks it's pretty sweet to make music with us!!!

So thanks, Kyle.  Yes, for building us a super awesome snare.  But also for reminding me that I am just a snare.  And the most beautiful thing I can do is to let my Creator do what He wants with me.  

Baby Dreams #3 and #4

I've had a couple more baby dreams lately.  

Baby Dream #3 was a couple weeks ago.  It was fairly uneventful, except for the fact that I could see through my belly into my uterus.  The baby was looking up at me with her head tilted sideways.  Her eyes wide open, like a little alien.  She was NOT cute.  It was actually pretty creepy.

Baby Dream #4 was last night.  I can't remember if I dreamed this during my 3 hours of sleeping on Jack's bedroom floor (using a teddy bear as a pillow) or during the one hour I actually spent in my own bed.  Either way, it was a weird one.  I had the baby.  Today, on April 1st.  I remember thinking, "Oh crap, she's way early.  I need to call Gordon and tell him I won't be at work this week!"  And again, just like Baby Dream Numero Uno, Dustin was not there.  He walked in a couple minutes later and I said, "Hey, I just pushed her out!  In one push!"  And again, she was NOT cute!  She had really weird hair.  And she weighed 5 pounds, 27 ounces.  (Um....math?)  

I then remembered that we didn't have our infant carseat, because my brother and sis-in-law were borrowing it (which is true in real life).  And then I remembered that my friends Eric and Amanda had to buy a new carseat for their little girl a couple years ago (which is true in real life), and I thought, "I should call Amanda and see if I can borrow Ellie's old carseat!"  And then I realized Amanda was sitting right next to me, on a couch.  How convenient.  (Wait a second....why was I sitting on a couch moments after giving birth?)

That's it.  I can only hope that our little girl comes out cuter than in my dreams.  

It's a......

I feel like the first half of a pregnancy, before you know your baby's gender, you are just waiting with "It's a...."  Waiting to find out.  Waiting to get to know your baby a little bit more.  Waiting to feel like there's actually a person in there, and it's not just a weird medical condition.

At least that's how I felt.  I know some people wait to find out when the baby's born, and good for you!  We just don't do that.

One week ago, we had our ultrasound.  Before it started, Dustin mentioned how Jack has been saying he wants a sister.  About .5 seconds after putting the thing on my belly the tech said, "Well, looks like he got what he wanted!"

A sister.  A daughter.  A GIRL.  Eeeeek!  (By the way, she was not shy at all about showing us her lady parts.  We'll have to work on that before she becomes a teenager.)

So now we have a daughter.  That's a tough one.  I've always been a tomboy.  I grew up with brothers.  And all boys in our neighborhood.  I played soccer and basketball and football and baseball and hockey and we built ramps for our bikes out of old wood scraps.  I NEVER took dance or gymnastics or cheerleading.  Ever.  Granted, since childhood I've learned how to be a little girly.  I do my hair and makeup (some days).  And I do enjoy a good pedicure.

But what the heck do I do with a DAUGHTER?

What if she's super girly?  What if she wants to wear dresses all the time?  What if she's obsessed with princesses and nail polish and tutus?

I wasn't too sure about this whole daughter thing.  Until I remembered something I learned while I was pregnant with Jack.  See, I had fixated on all the "parenting" questions...."How long will I breastfeed?"  "What will we do when he throws a fit in a store?"  "Will we homeschool or send him to public school or private school?"  "When he turns 16 will we buy him his own car?"  And I started to get overwhelmed, thinking I had to KNOW all those answers.

Then Jack came.  And all we had to do was feed him and change his diapers and cuddle.  And when he grew out of that stage, we learned what to do in the next stage.  And the next, and the next, and the next.  And now that he's two, I look back and realize that I didn't know this was how I was going to parent a two-year-old.  And when the next stage comes, I'm sure God will show us what to do.

It's one day at a time.

And it's the same with our daughter.  At first it will be just taking care of a baby.  And God will show us in each stage what to do.  Whether she's a girly girl or a tomboy or somewhere in between.  We'll learn how to be her parents, just like we're learning how to be Jack's parents.

I'm so thankful He has grace for us every day!  Whether it's dealing with a two-year-old (who just dumped an entire crate of books on the floor.  Ugh.) or whether it's having a freak-out moment about having a girl, He holds us up and holds everything together.  One day at a time.

Thank God.

Chick-Fil-A, Gerig's and other Glenbrook Blessings

Jack and I just spent a few hours at the mall.  I thought it was going to be a normal mall trip, and somehow in those few hours I was overwhelmed with blessings!  Let's count them....

1.  This one started a few days ago.  I've had my eye on a pair of maternity jeans (and I NEED maternity jeans) from a certain store in the mall.  But they were a little more expensive than what I would normally like to pay for maternity jeans.  Then on Friday Dustin found a gift card to Glenbrook that we had forgotten about.  Score!  That's why we went to the mall today.  I am now the proud owner of jeans that fit.  Hallelujah!

2.  We went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  Chick-Fil-A would normally be a blessing in itself, right?  Not only was I able to order grilled chicken nuggets and applesauce for Jack (yay for kinda-healthy fast food!), but when we finished our order, the manager came over and said, "You go find a table and I'll bring your food out to you."  Awesome for a momma with a toddler in a stroller plus a baby bump!  A few minutes later he came over with our food and said, "Here you go, Kendra!  Would you like a placemat for your son?"  And he stuck a disposable placemat on the table.  He later came over to trade Jack's toy for an "under 3" toy, and took our trash away.  Throughout our lunch I saw him bustling around the food court, refilling drinks and getting ketchup for all the customers who were enjoying delicious chicken.  Way to go, Chick-Fil-A.  Way. To. Go.

3.  Also in the food court....I noticed a couple tables over there were three older ladies who kept looking at us.  I figured it was because I was sitting next to a super cute kid.  He tends to attract the old ladies.  :)  But then one of them (the oldest one) came over and sat down at my table.  My first thought was that she was super confused, until she said, "Did you know that we are relation?"  "Um....no I didn't!"  And it turns out that her husband (now deceased) was cousins with my Grandma and Aunt Joy.  She's a Gerig!  AND she goes to Pathway.  AND she remembers visiting my Grandma and Grandpa in their assisted living facility and hearing me play piano for them.  She guessed I was about 18 back then.  TEN years ago.  Whoa.  She was not confused at all.  I asked her what her name was, and then I introduced myself as Kendra and she said, "Oh, I know your name."  Nothing like meeting distant relatives at the food court, huh?

4.  A couple weeks ago we were putting some of Jack's clothes away that he'd outgrown.  He had a couple Puma tracksuits that people gave him for his birthday last year that were SUPER cute and I LOVED putting on him last spring.  But sadly, they got put into the big plastic bins destined for the attic.  Today I walked into Macy's, totally minding my own business, and spotted toddler boy Puma tracksuits.  The price tag said $44.  Sorry, I'm not spending $44 on play clothes for a toddler.  And then I saw the sign above them said $19.99.  Yesssss!!!  But it gets better....I happened to look through my little pouch of gift cards in my purse and found a Macy's card for $20!  The two gold rings on it told me that we've had that card since October 11, 2008.  Whoever gave us that gift card for our wedding probably was not thinking I would use it on clothes for our two-year-old, but that's exactly what I did.  Ah-thank you.

5.  Last, but definitely not least.  I had gotten several texts while we were in the mall, so Jack and I took a break and sat on a bench so I could answer a few of them.  When I got done, I looked over at him and he was doing "Open them, shut them, open them, shut them," with his hands.  This is what they do in KidCity at Pathway before they pray.  So I did it with him.  When we got done with the little chant he put his hands in his lap and said, "Pray."  So we did.  We thanked God for days like today when we can go to the mall and have fun together.  We thanked God for Jack being SUCH a good boy while we were at the mall (which is a huge blessing in itself!).  And for everything that He's given us.

Normally I don't pray out loud on a bench in the middle of the mall.  But it just seemed fitting today.  Because Jack asked for it.  And because God really blessed the pants off us today.  Were any of these big, huge, life-changing blessings?  Nope.  But they definitely made our day more special.  And I'm so glad that Jack reminded me to thank Him for it.

Baby Dream Numero Dos

I had another dream about the baby.  It was much less eventful than the last one....

All I remember is that the baby was a girl.  And she had red hair.  And I kept calling her Kate, but that wasn't her name.  I guess I kept forgetting what we named her, so I just called her Kate instead.  And every time Dustin corrected me, but I don't remember what her actual name was!  

That's it.  Pretty uneventful.  

Except that we had a daughter.  Eeeek!  

Jack-isms

Okay, it's been awhile since I've blogged.  Not that life has been dull.  Just nothing that I've been moved to write about.  

Then last night Jack was going through some drawers and found his baby book.  That's supposed to record the first year of his life.  But really it was more like the first week of his life.  And then I fizzled out.  

I've never been good about scrap-booking, album-making, or baby-booking.  Just not my thing.  I'd like to think that Facebook keeps a pretty good record of life events, between the photo albums and my status updates.  And maybe this blog should do a little bit of that too.  

Jack is changing so fast, and learning new things so quickly that sometimes it's easy to forget what he was doing a few months ago, or even last week.  So here's what he's up to right now.

Top Ten Favorite Jack-isms of Right Now:

1.  "I see you!"  He loves looking through things: an empty paper towel tube, toy binoculars, or even the little holes in the middle of his cheese crackers.  He'll say it ten times in a row...."I see you, Mama!  I see you Daddy!"  

2.  "I do it!"  He loves trying to do things all by himself.  Oh, toddler independence.  

3.  "I did it 'self!"  When he succeeds at toddler independence.  So proud.

4.  "Help please, Mama."  Ahhhh I love this!  It's so sweet!  I usually hear this when he's playing a game on the iPad, or when he's trying to fill up his bathtub squirt toys with water. 

5.  "Fun!"  Everything is fun.  This morning the "fun!" things included eating a waffle, taking a bath, and sitting on a towel while I blow-dried his hair.  "Sit on towel fun!!!"  Okay kid, whatever you say.

6.  "I flush!"  He LOVES flushing the toilet, and any time Dustin or I mention we're going to the bathroom he comes running in, exclaiming, "I flush!  I flush!"  (Note:  he will also exclaim this very loudly in Target if you mention you have to go potty.)  

7. "Mama sit."  Soooo many times during the day he pats the space next to him and says, "Mama sit."  What a sweetie-pie, wanting to sit next to his Mama, and wanting her to take a break and relax for a few minutes.  (That's what he's thinking, right?)

8.  "Daddy hide upstairs!"  Every night at bedtime he wants Dustin to hide so he can go find him.  It's definitely one of our favorite parts of the day.  On the nights that Dustin's at work I hide instead, but I'm not as good at it as Daddy is.  

9.  Counting to ten.  Very, VERY loudly.

10.  "Manu!"  This is my absolute FAVORITE.  Manu is Jackanese for "love you."  Lots of his other Jackanese words are slipping away as he learns the actual words, but this one is still stuck.  And, not gonna lie, I hope it sticks for a long time!  I've starting telling him "manu" instead of "love you," hoping he won't learn the actual words yet.  And probably one of the sweetest things is when he pats my belly and says, "Manu, baby."  

There you have it.  The top ten Jack-isms of today.  They may change as soon as tomorrow, but today this is what he's like, this is what he's learning, and this is what I love about him.  And now I don't have to scrap-book about it.  :)

Washed With Tears

God has been teaching me a lot lately about worship.  (Yes, the word "worship" is in my job title, but that's not what I'm talking about.)

Last night I was reading a Bible story to Jack.  The woman who washes Jesus' feet with her tears and perfume.  It's a story that I have probably heard hundreds of times.  But never like this.  It's from the Jesus Storybook Bible (side note: if you don't have the Jesus Storybook Bible, GET IT.  Whether you have kids or not.  You can find it here or here.)

I always knew that this story was about worship.  About giving what we have to Jesus.  But this time it was different.  I can't really describe what struck me about the story without telling the story.  The way we read it last night.  So here it is.

Excerpt from The Jesus Storybook Bible, by by Sally Lloyd-Jones, Copyright 2007, Zondervan

Washed with tears
A sinful woman anoints Jesus, from Mark 14, Luke 7, and John 12

One night Jesus went to dinner at an Important Leader's house. The Important Leader invited his Important Friends. They were all just sitting down to eat when a woman walked in. She was not invited but everyone knew who she was.

"Who does she think she is?" the guests whispered. "How dare she?" The woman was a big sinner and everyone knew it.  (It was easy to see -- after all, she had broken the rules and done bad things.)

The woman walked straight up to Jesus. She was carrying very expensive perfume.

Now the thing about perfume back then was that it didn't come in bottle, it came in jars. And the jars were made out of precious stone, like alabaster. But here's the catch: the jars didn't have a lid, or a stopper, or anything. So the only way you got the perfume out was if you broke the jar. Once you broke the jar, that was it -- you had no more. Most people didn't use perfume because it was too precious. They just kept it on a shelf and looked at it.

So you see, this perfume was her most precious thing in all the world. It was her treasure.

The woman knelt down before Jesus like he was a king. She held Jesus' feet in her hands and started to cry. Her tears fell onto Jesus' feet, washing them. She kissed his feet and dried them with her long, dark hair. And then she did something strange. She broke the jar and poured the perfume all over his feet.

Everyone gasped. What a waste! Over someone's feet? Such expensive perfume!

It smelled like lilies in a summer field.

Jesus looked at the woman, and he smiled at her. What she had done was the most wonderful thing. Just as Samuel had anointed David, God's true king, all those years before, so this woman had anointed Jesus -- not with oil, but with her tears.

The Important People were cross. They thought Jesus should not be kind to this woman. "That woman is a sinner!" they grumbled. "We're the good ones." (And it's true, they did look good -- from the outside. After all, they were keeping all the rules.)

But Jesus could see inside people. And inside, in their hearts, Jesus saw that they did not love God or other people. They were running away from God and they thought they didn't need a rescuer. They thought they were good enough because they kept the rules. But sin had stopped their hearts from working properly. And their hearts were hard and cold.

"This woman knows she's a sinner," Jesus told them. "She knows she'll never be good enough. She knows she needs me to rescue her. That's why she loves me so much.

"You look down on this woman because you don't look up to God. She is sinful on the outside -- but you are sinful on the inside."

The Important People shook with anger.

Jesus turned to the woman and smiled. "Your sins are forgiven," he said. "You trusted me. And God has rescued you!"